Pay Day

Annie has passed some big milestones this past week. She turned 7 months old, is officially crawling like a champ, and even pulled herself up on her feet for the first time yesterday. BOOM! Super Baby!

While these achievements might seem small to some, they are still milestones to me. Another mark to pass, box to check, something telling me that we are moving forward. Progressing! Becoming! And it makes my little mommy heart happy to watch her grow and become a person. Some may mock the recording and even celebration of these milestones (first haircut, first hi-five, first time to eat real food and not gag--PARTAY!) but these are the moments that moms live for. They make us feel like we are ACCOMPLISHING something. Even though we technically aren't the ones accomplishing the accomplishment, we have already begun living vicariously through our children so it counts. Plus, this is our WORK. A child's growth is in some form a product of a parent's daily effort, so their successes are our successes.

And here's the thing...

There are no Pay Days in parenting.

Every other career in this world has some sort of pay day at the end of two weeks, or week, month, whatever. Something that marks and rewards our accomplishments. Newsflash: there ain't no pay check coming. No pay day to mark another successful week of pouring all of your creative efforts into producing something great. No METRICS even to measure your progress. Nada.

And sometimes that's difficult. We've been hard-wired from a young age to work FOR something. For the A. For the trophy (that we Millenials don't even deserve). For the scholarship, raise, pay check, or promotion. We are usually given metrics to mark our progress along the way. Metrics give us a sense of purpose, a sense of direction, and, for better or for worse, helps us define our place in the world.

Not so with mommyhood. There are no grades, promotions, raises. And definitely no pay checks. "That's fine, I don't need to be controlled by pay checks," we say. While part of us might be grateful to no longer be ruled by metrics, I wonder if part of us CRAVES them and needs that external validation. At least, I think I do. So how do we measure? How can we find that same sort of "I'm progressing" feeling that we frankly NEED as human beings in order to feel fulfilled.

I feel like we all need to break out into "Seasons of Love" -- "How do you measure, a year in a life? How a about LOOOOOOOOOVE... Measure in LOVE...." As cliché as that sounds, I believe it. Especially for moms. Mommy Pay Days ARE a thing, they just look a little different than normal pay days and feel a little more like love. (And are also sans cash.)

I've hear many parents refer to their child's wedding day as the big "Pay-off" or "Pay Day." Frankly, I can't wait that long! Certainly I want that big pay-off to come some day, but I need some intermediate validation along the way that we are on the right track here.

We need to recognize Mommy Pay Days and celebrate them OFTEN. Why don't we try this: Keep celebrating those milestones, but also learn to appreciate those "yard-stones" or even "inch-stones." There are daily moments-, big and small, that are Mommy Pay Days. And as the kids grow and those milestones are fewer and far between, there are other "Pay Days" that can help us feel that our efforts are making a difference.

What do Mommy Pay Days look like? Here are some of mine:

Thank You, Mom. A simple "Thank You" goes a long way. Am I right moms? Annie can't talk yet, but my husband can, and his words of gratitude for even the little things I do to care for our girl--they fill me up and keep me going. And I've never appreciated my own mother more than I have in the past seven months. I don't know if I could ever be sufficiently grateful to my mother for all she has done for me, but at least I can still tell her, write to her, hug her and say THANK YOU, MOM! Anyone else feel like calling mom up right now? DO IT!

I love you, Mom. Right now with a baby who can only babble, her "I love You, Mom" is more of an expression than anything else. It's that radiant look she gives me when I walk in the room or give her a big smile. It's a look of pure and absolute JOY. That look makes all the prior fussing, sleeplessness, and frustration absolutely worth it.

Smiles and Giggles. Annie smiles. They're like candy. Like manna from heaven. Like diving into a cool pool on a hot summers day. They just melt me! Regardless of the aches and pains of motherhood, every time she gives me that big open-mouthed grin I think "This is the best thing in the world."

Reminders that motherhood is a DIVINE CALLING. While being a parent might be a thankless job somedays--it truly is THE most important job in the world and in eternity. Every great man or woman had a mother, father, or a parent-figure that shaped them. As poet William Ross Wallace said: "The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world." Whether you are a mother physically or emotionally, the influence you have on God's children is precious and eternal. For, "Motherhood is a divine partnership with God."

And like anything important...motherhood IS hard. So on days when I need extra validation, it's pep talks like this one that get me through:

In the end, I think I'm actually glad that a mother's "Pay Days" don't come with a check every two weeks. We can get pay-offs every day if we look for them. And while these moments are subtle they are MEANINGFUL. As one of my favorite scriptures says "By small and simple means, great things are brought to pass." And its the compilation of all of these "small" and "simple" moments that creates the great masterpiece of the JOY of motherhood. So, take a moment to soak up those smiles, bask in the love of your child, record those small moments, then go back and review them on the hard days...scroll through your Instagram account and remember that those good moments DO happen. Whatever you do, take time to have yourself a Pay Day, mom, you've earned it.

#MommyPayDays #Fulfillment #JoyinMotherhood