Confession: The Truth about Babysitters

As the oldest of 6 kids I've been babysitting for most of my life. From newborns to pre-teens--I've bottle-fed babies, changed countless diapers, bathed children, made meals, cleaned the house better than I clean my own room, run errands, stayed the night, and basically played "Mom." I think I can say that I "get" babysitting.

At least from the Sitter's perspective.

My world has been opened up to a whole other side of the coin as I've come to understand the Mom's perspective. Here's a little glimpse into the mangled mind of a mother when it comes to babysitting:

1. Yes we trust you. No we don't trust you. I'm leaving my flesh and blood, the one thing I would give up my life for, in your very capable hands. This is proof of a very significant level of trust. So feel encouraged and confident that we think you are going to do a great job. But don't be offended if a little part of us doesn't trust you at all. It's not personal. We will simply never quite trust anyone else as much as we trust ourselves. #sorrynotsorry #momsarecrazy

2. We are just as worried about the sitter as we are the baby. I finally understand why the parents would ask "Were they good?" after I watched their kids. It wasn't like some sort of test to see how well I sat their kids. The parents were legitimately concerned about how the kids treated ME. I get it now. We parents do everything in our power to set you up for success (plan dates around nap time or bed time, prepare snacks and meals, etc.) so that you get the happiest moments with our baby. We'd rather give you the angel and deal with the...not-so-angelic side ourselves.

3. It's ok if our baby cries. Believe me, we are more worried about you when they cry than we are about them. And if I mothered my child the way I used to babysit kids (aka do everything in my power to entertain them to the point of ZERO tears) I'd be one superhuman mom. And I'd probably be dead...or translated.

Crying Happens.

4. We give you a lot of detail. Some mom's have you come over 15 minutes early to give you the "run down." Others type up a detailed description of mealtime, bath time, bed time, emergency contact numbers, who to avoid in the neighborhood, how to use the remote, and which stuffed animal is baby's favorite. Do not get overwhelmed. We don't mistrust you, we CARE about you and your sanity. Children thrive with routines, they feel comfortable with what is familiar, so all we are trying to do is set you up for success and hand you a Mary Poppins bag you can pull from whenever things inevitably go south.

5. For some reason I'd rather leave my baby with a woman than a man (or girl vs guy). Am I sexist? No, really...am I? I've had this conversation with countless friends, other parents, acquaintances because I want validation that I'm not the only one who feels this way, as well as a good chastisement for my gender bias. I don't know if it's because I'm a woman, or because most babysitters are girls, or because my baby seems to be more comfortable with women...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There are reasons. Am I the only one here? Sorry all of you very responsible, super-dependable guys out there who are great with kids and have always wanted to be a babysitter. I'm sure your day will come.

**PS Totally left Annie with my Brother-in-law and it was awesome. They both had a good time. PHEW! Gender bias no more!**

6. We have no idea how much to pay you. Is there some mathematical formula out there that will help me riddle out how much to pay a babysitter? Like--take the square root of the sitter's age, factor in the ages and number of children, multiply it by their "neediness" or "naughtiness." Then you've got all of the variables like: gas money, whether or not the sitter cleans, level of interactive entertainment, making meals, bath time, bed time, and how many hours the sitter will be "watching" sleeping children...etc, etc, etc. I don't want to be cheap, I mean this is caring for my child we're talking about here, but do I want to pay a 12-year-old $10 bucks an hour for watching my sleeping babe? Not really. If any of you out there have a fool-proof method for determining how much to pay a sitter, please, share your inspired wisdom with the world!

7. Not paying a babysitter. For those of you amazingly kind-hearted individuals who offer to watch my child out of the goodness of your heart and do not expect or want any payment--I thank you. You are the cream of the crop, the salt of the earth, and I feel so very grateful that I even feel guilty. I know that watching someone else's kid is no cake walk. Even cute, fun, easy babies take time and effort. So I feel guilty when you refuse payment. So what can I do!? Please give me another way that I can "pay you back" or at least show my gratitude. Otherwise I may never ask you again because I feel like I'm taking advantage of you.

Family members are often those free babysitters.

Thanks in advance for decades of free babysitting.

8. Tradsies is the BEST. Finding another mom who would also like an hour or two to themselves every-so-often and are willing to watch your kids if you watch theirs--this is babysitting GOLD. I must find more moms like this who live near me. Tradsie moms...I need you.

If we only we lived closer...Tradsies e'ry day!

9. Surprise characteristics I look for in a Sitter. Having a lot of experience or knowing how to cook a mean bowl of mac-and-cheese, surprisingly, isn't what I look for in a babysitter. I would take someone who LOVES my kid over someone with great babysitting "skills" in a heartbeat. I'd take responsibility over age any day. Who knew that being a good problem solver would be such an essential characteristics in my ideal babysitter? If I know you are attentive, sweet, dependable, and, frankly, totally unperturbed with crying--you are IN. And in to stay.

10. Good babysitters are great. AMAZING babysitters are ANGELS! Really--you find that person who adores your child, and who your child adores in return. That person who makes you feel like they are LUCKY to be watching your kid. Who is available just when you need them. Who can handle the feeding, cleaning, bath time, bed time routine down to the quirkiest little detail...you've made it. You've reached babysitter's heaven. The pearly gates are opening wide to nights of worry-free dates, rekindled romance, and recapturing your pre-pregnancy brain. Mothers--do everything in your power to find such a babysitter. And when you find them, never let them go.

I hope this list is at least a little helpful/validation/entertaining/not a waste of your time. If not, this will be:

MAMAS: If you have any babysitting hacks or stories, please, do share!

#babysitting #Truth