Welcome to the Mom Club
- Kathryn Porter
- Jan 21, 2017
- 5 min read
Some of you may be wondering--did she survive another plane trip? Yes, Annie and I live. We made it home. And amazingly it went well enough that we may fly again...in another 13 years or so. Faith restored!
This past week of travel, spending time with family, catching up with old friends, and gaining strength and courage from random acquaintances has reinforced an opinion I've harbored for a while.
The Mom Club rocks.
I can tell you from even my limited experience that when you are a mom you have a built-in network of support wherever you go. And it rocks. It's like being Mormon, or a Duke fan, or a Cross Fit enthusiast. You can be in an unfamiliar place without a friend in the world, see that bumper sticker or T-shirt, and all of a sudden you've found your next bestie. Or it's like walking into the bathroom (if you're a girl) and asking if someone has some extra Midol or a tampon. You end up chatting for an extra 5 minutes about period pains and laugh over embarrassing period stories. Yes, women do this, and yes, it's not weird. Guys just don't get it. It's girl code.
Well being a mom is like that x about 1,000. Because this ain't no little bumper sticker or tampon that brings us together. It's a living breathing beautiful human being that has taken over your LIFE. And you LOVE it. You LOVE that it's all you ever think about, look at, or breathe for that matter. You love it so much that when you see that lady down the hall, waddling with 8.5 months of pregnancy hanging on her front, you want to go up and ask her about her how she's doing and let her know it's all going to be worth it. When you see that mom in the grocery store dealing with yet another temper tantrum, you give her the look. The "Girl, I feel you" look. She looks back with a "Right? Only the sixth time today" eye roll. And you return with a "Welcome to the Mom Club" head nod.
Mom's just get it.
There's a reason why you find this hilarious:
And why this pulls at your heartstrings:
And why this makes you ugly cry:
It's because you are a mom, or love a kid like a mom, which makes you an honorary member of the mom club. Mom's just GET IT. They get what it's like to have your kid pee all over you, themselves, their clothes, their one dry diaper, and the changing table at Walmart. There's just this level of understanding there. You rejoice and commiserate together because you just get it.
You get what it's like to try to function, like normally, after hourly "visits" with your baby all night long You get what it's like to be late to everything because your baby pooped, or threw up, or threw his shoes in the trash. Or maybe that was you that threw the shoes in the trash....
You get what it's like to have only one strong muscle in your body. Your right bicep. Man it's huge. Too bad all of that baby lifting can't be divided amongst all of your other wasted, depleted muscles. You get what its like to feel so happy when your kid's had a good meal, to have your heart melt when she reaches for you, to sit and watch her while she sleeps rather than getting to your to-do list. So many mommy feelings its amazing we're all not bi-polar.
Here's another thing mom's get---always talking about your kids. Or talking like you are talking to a kid. Both happen.
I always thought: "I'm never going to be that mom that talks about my baby's poops and weird sleeping habits and funny looking rash." Oops too late. To that random stranger I happen to be sitting next to, if you mention anything, ANYTHING, about my baby, you better watch out because it's about to all come spewing out.
Stranger: "Oh your baby is so cute!"
Me: "Thank you! She looks just like her daddy. Except her eyes maybe, I think those are my eyes. She is going through a rough patch right now. Teething and all. I mean you should see her teething poops. Isn't that right sweetie {mom voice}. The acidity turns it green. Oh and causes a horrible rash Poor little thing........(x 5 minutes)..."
Spewing. Word vomit. I JUST CAN'T STOP!
We can't help but talk about our kid constantly because that's it--our whole day wrapped up in one tiny person. "I'm sorry, am I boring you with all this baby talk? It's just that the biggest word I've used today is "poopsicle" and that's not even a WORD!"
You alienate half of the population with such shenanigans, and the other half is like: "Yes! I feel you!"
Now this might be a painful post for some women...because they feel like they don't get it. They are aching to be a mom, even with all of the craziness. To you I say: I feel you too! A lot of mom's feel you. Many, if not most moms "get it." During the time that Scott and I were trying to get pregnant, and questioning if we'd ever have success, I lived in a community of AMAZING moms. This is where my appreciation for the Mom Club began. Not because I was a mom, but because the other moms loved me, embraced me, invited me to their craft days and picnics in the park, and let me love on their kids. I was the honorary member of that mom club and rather than feeling resentment (though I did have hard days of wishing and wanting)...I LOVED IT.
This is not all of my beloved Vancouver moms...but a lot of them and they are AMAZING!
If I've learned anything from the Mom Club before and after baby, it's this: Motherhood (whether or not you bear children) is a divine part of Womanhood. The gifts that we have as women bind us in this special sisterhood so that as we go through the craziness of kids, marriages, no kids, no marriages, careers, or just LIFE---we GET each other. Like periods.
So go hug a random mom out there. Tell her she's doing great. Tell her her kid is adorable (even if said kid is going through a "phase"). Invite a woman without kids to hang out with you and the other girls. Make her feel comfortable and wanted. Because ladies, if our kids want any hope of growing up with SANE moms, aunts, friends, neighbors...we need each other. Welcome to the Mom Club.
Here's some moms and others that made this week POSSIBLE and enjoyable :) (Skipio wives! We need a picture together!) Shoutout to about 50 other women who make the Mom Club amazing.
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